Saturday, July 11, 2009

They Don't Really Care About Me

They Don't Really Care About Us by Michael Jackson

I have been to hell and back. There were many miserable & beautiful things had happened to me for the past few months, and I manage to overcome it by SHUTTING DOWN myself. I am not running away or hiding.. it was just that -I Am What I Am-I Am Reen, and I have been punished time after time for being myself.

There are issues & incidents that I will never reveal. I would rather leave certain issues unspoken. Some ppl might say many bad things abt me, do I care? I used to say 'As If I Care?'. But deep in my heart, from the bottom of my heart, I DO CARE. I kept every single word that ppl have said abt me, EVERY SINGLE WORD. Either they said it intentionally or unintentionally, those words hurt me alot. When I got these 'injuries', I rather keeping myself fully occupied for most of the times, washing clothes, cleaning the house, watching tv & dvd, playing games etc etc etc... I maybe look happy.... and I always seem to be happy... A Happy Go Lucky Gal...

The saddest things are, I have lost my trustworthy to certain ppl around me. It was just right abt this phrase - TRUST NO ONE. I have lost a few friends in my list that I called them as friends, -one of them passed away & the rest .. I don't know.. (u tell me... ). I just want LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY AND NOT JUDGEMENTAL FRIENDS. Judgement is for the weak who really afraid of themselves, their misdoings therefore they attack others before they get the attacks.

Sad huh? Nay.... at times, I'm happy that losing certain ppl that called themselves as friends to me. I don't need 'the fair weather type' or 'holier than thou' kinda of ppl anymore. Loyalty compassion & supportive friends are rare, aren't they? If they are exist, I will keep them in my heart forever. And over my life, I have a few of them (not many, and not more than 5), as they love me, accept me for what & who I am. I treat others as I would like to be treated. I love them as how they love me, and I will love them wholeheartedly.
There is one happiness in life

Life. Is. Colourful. To. Make. My. Life. Wonderful.

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